I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
