I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
