spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
