grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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