You work out of a Hotel?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
