I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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