yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
