I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
