what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We need to get me chipped asap
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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