If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
smell my finger.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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