He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
