I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
