You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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