Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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