It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
