It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
