I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Someone signed my nipple.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
