sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
