Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
