I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
