I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
