so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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