sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
oh god the rape fog is back!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
