He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
