Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
