woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
