i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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