sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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