After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think your dad took our porno
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
