I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
