his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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