He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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