Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize