Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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