Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
