He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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