u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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