We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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