her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
