Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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