We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We were destined to go to rehab together
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize