the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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