You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
