how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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