well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
