This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
