is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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