put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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