the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
