Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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