This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
