p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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