I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
