How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
