So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
