I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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