what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
