Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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