i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im holly from the hills drunk
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
