An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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