im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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