Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
