why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Do vagina's smell?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
