Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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