he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize