Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My breath smells like gin and sadness
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
