And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
