I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it's great music for shaving your balls
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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