What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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