He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
